


You Found Me

by hashtagthanks1d



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Smut, Teenage One Direction, The X Factor Era, Top Harry, Top Louis, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-12 22:50:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7126441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashtagthanks1d/pseuds/hashtagthanks1d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry knew it was dead wrong but yet he couldn't help but fall hard for Louis. The way the older one called him "Curly", the way he smiled at him, the way he teased him, the way Louis was always there for him. How much he cared about him. How he kissed Harry and started a fire deep in his soul. </p><p>And now, it's still burning. After three years of hidden whispers and smiles, three years of love they had cover, three years of bigger and quite less problems they've gone through, it's still burning. </p><p>Things are on fire, their sex and their love. They still sleep with each other, even though Louis has Eleanor now and Harry just broke up with Taylor. They need it, the sex with each other. They kind of got addicted to it. </p><p>Things are on fire and fire will burn. Fire will destroy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this story :)  
> The tags will come, soon, I promise. But, as always I first want to build a storyline :D  
> And, this is the prologue! After this very short one (I know, I'm sorry) we will jump back in time! :P

Prologue - The words you whispered I will always believe

 

Harry

 

„Haz, I'm home, what's goin on dude?“, it's Lou who yells this after he enters our flat we share together in LA. I hear how he drops his keys on the hallway highboy.  
I sigh and rub my eyes, trying to wash away the silly tears. Why did I even cry? It's not like I ever really loved her. I mean no offense, she's a great person as a friend and stuff but I never loved her. This was all created and forced by management. Just to cover up some specific rumors about me. Me and my best friend.  
And he's so much more to me than only a good friend.  
„Haz? You still asleep? No offense but it's after 2 pm, Haz.“

I can't answer him now I know, I'd burst out into tears if I just simply tried. Stupid needless tears. Boys don't cry. They aren't supposed to. Especially not Harry Styles. Great, know I'm already starting to talk too myself.  
Shut up brain. 

I don't hear how Lou walks into my room, I don't notice how he calls my name, I only notice him when he shakes my shoulders, trying to break through me.  
„Huh, Lou, what's goin on?!“, I ask shocked by the sudden touch of his cold hands on my bare skin. I know what this hands can cause in me, which effect they have on me.  
„I think I'm the one supposed to ask you this because you're the one crying.“, he says.  
„Oh, I still am?“, I sniff, getting angry with myself about this once again. I don't want to cry, I don't want to but, I'm crying nevertheless.  
„Yes, you still are, Haz.“, he says dry and I wince. 

„Harry, c'mon, just tell me. You know you can talk to me about everything.“, he pleads. I'm not quite sure about this. Sure I can talk to him about girls and all these things but not about these things I want to talk to him for three years now. The things I'm desperate to tell him about. But that would literally change nothing so it's clear I won't try it at all.  
Because I've already tried. And I failed. Twice. The two times I've tried, I've failed. I'm not very good at things like that, truth is, I suck at this stuff.

„Haaaaaaaaaz“, he tries to convince me to talk to him by stretch my nickname into ten seconds. He always does that.  
But I just stubbornly shake my head. He sighs.

I didn't counted in he'd do what the next thing is he does: he swoops on me and directly starts to tickle me. He knows pretty much how delicate and tickling I am, I can't stand tickling even for a few seconds without bursting into laughter.  
To be honest, Lou knows everything about me.  
Everything besides one thing. How ironic. 

I burst out into laughter under his hands that crawl all over my chest and belly, face still full of tears and still with red eyes.  
„Tommo, please, please, please, stop, please!“, I beg and nearly get any words out because I have to laugh way too hard. I can see Lou smirking due to my words.  
„Only if you tell me vas hapenin!“, he sets conditions and I sigh, which sounds, mixed with laughter, like I'm dying because I'm out of breath.  
„Okay, but please, Tommo, stop, Lou, stop!“, I beg again. Finally, still smirking, he lets go of me. I breath in heavily. I didn't know I was that much out of breath. 

„And know brave little Harry, tell me, vas hapenin?“, he asks. Gosh, his voice sounds so sexy. I shouldn't think about things like that now at all. Noticing the fact that I just broke up with my so called girlfriend. No, even worse, that I cheated on her so I could finally broke up with her.  
Nevertheless I'm still fully aware of Lou. His body on mine, his skin pressed against mine. We always end up like this, just before things happen. 

„I....I....I....broke up....“, I finally manage to get out.  
„With Taylor?“, for a few seconds it looks like there is a glare in his eyes, just like satisfaction. But before I can even concentrate on this, it's gone.  
„Yes....“, I say, trying not to be too much aware of the fact of our two bodys, pressed against each other. 

„Why and how?“, he asks, sounding now a bit breathless.  
„I...uh...cheated on her....“, I mumble and he looks at me with wide opened eyes.  
„Yes...I did...and I guess it's finally over now...“  
„What do you mean by that?“, he asks me, curious. Fuck. I didn't want him to discover this. But it's Lou, I know him. Just a few more questions and a few more touches and than he's got his answers. I'm so pathetic.

„I just wanted it to...urm...end it..I 'spose....“, I even sound pathetic, crap. Somebody please help me. And give me my own life, my own choices, my fucking deserved freedom back.  
„But why did you want to end it? You two looked...uhm...quite happy together. And Harry, you know, new album is coming right?“  
„Argh, stop portraying her as that psycho bitch who only writes break-up songs to revenge with her boyfriends. Everybody writes out of personal experience, right?“, I get slightly furious, I'd say.

„Woah Haz, calm down. I thought you wanted it to end and now you're defending her...vas hapenin?“, Lou asks, distracted.  
„I just....arh...Fuck it! Okay, management forced me to start this relationship! Satisfied now? I just feel bad that I had to end it like this, okay?!“ 

He stays calm and silence lays down on us. He straightens himself up and shortly after this I already miss the presence and the feeling of his body on mine. Hell, how pathetic and obssesed am I even?  
„Why didn't you told me then?“, he finally whispers. Well, I definitely didn't expect that question. In fact, I would've expext anything besides from this.  
„Huh?“

„Haz, please, don't play the dumb one. You know what I mean.“  
„I'm not sure if I do so....“  
He sighs again, this time louder.  
„Yes you do....“  
„If there's any reason I should've told you?“  
„I think there are many!“, he directly spats back. „First of all, I'm supposed to be your best friend, don't you remember this anymore, Harry? And second I thought none of us five had that kind of secrets for us others...“

Fuck it, he's so right. 

„But that wouldn't have changed anything at all, would it? You love Eleanor, end of the day.“, I furiously shout back. 

Fuck, now I've definitely ruined the whole situation. Louis stays silent, saying nothing. Just looking down at me. These damn blue eyes. Damn it, look away Louis! Just stop ruining me step by step, piece by piece!

„I'm not sure about this...“, he finally whispers.  
„Fuck, Lou! Really? After nearly two years? Are you kidding with me?!“  
„Actually I wasn't...“

I straighten up, too. I don't want to lie beneath him, like a victim offering my body. Like I did so many times before.  
„I....I....like her, I really do....but fuck, Curly, you're still my weak point!“, he whimpers before he finally closes the gap between us, smashing our lips together. 

He didn't call me Curly for nearly one year now. My body shivers just by him, moaning my old nickname.  
But the reaction of my body to his is more painful. 

He didn't kiss me since my relationship with Taylor started. I didn't know how much I missed this. How much I missed him. How much I needed him. 

„Fuck, Curly!“, he moans as I take off his shirt as fast as I can, running my hands all over his chest. My shirt follows his and then our trousers. I can already feel how hard he is. 

„You sure about this, Curly?“, he asks me, after we freed ourselves from our underwear. No, I'm defenitely not. I know that this is like hundred percent wrong. But I don't care. Not when I can feel his hot skin pressed against mine and when his hands wander through my hair, trying to gain control of himself again. 

It is so wrong. Not just because of Eleanor and my break-up which happened only a few hours ago. No, this is way more wrong because we can't live without this anymore. Three years now and we got way too much addicted to this. We lost control of ourselves.  
We have to stop solving things with sex. 

I know I'm shattering myself with this, with allowing him to do this to me...but I want it like that. 

I nod and directly he starts moving. I moan desperate and hungry for more. He covers my moan up with a smirking kiss. 

We really have to stop this.  
I should've stopped this all three years ago, when I still had the chance to do so.


	2. Lost and Insecure, You Found Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry starts falling for some Special eyes, yet he knows it's dead wrong....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there and thank you for reading! <3  
> This chapter is unedited yet so please excuse the misstakes :)  
> And I just saw the gif again, it's Louis who jumps on Harry. Well, 'cause I'm too lazy to write it again, let's just pretend, it was otherwise! :D  
> Anayways, enjoy! Fiona xx

ost and Insecure, You Found Me

July 2010

Harry

 

„Hey bro, you seriously don't have to worry. I heard you. You've really got great skills.“, says the boy next to me. I shot him a look.  
He looks quite nice. He looks good.  
Damn, he looks really good.  
Those gorgeous deep blue eyes, this smile and his hair...I love the colour and how it looks out under his beanie..I wonder what it would feel like if I'd touch it.  
What the hell am I even thinking about? I mean, like seriously. I just fucked up my second performance on the X Factor. I totally failed. I feel like I have to vomit really badly.  
I should concentrate on how I can come out alive here. I mean I fucked it up. I totally blamed myself. And I have to live with it. I should really concentrate on this. I should not think about 'gorgeous blue eyes who look as deep as an ocean'. And his smile, these dimples.  
Fuck off brain, I don't know him! I even don't know his name!  
But this beanie totally suits him. 

„Nah. I fucked it off. Like totally.“, I croak.  
His hand lies down on my shoulder. His hand is on my shoulder. Fuck it, it's just his hand!  
„Dude, I think you take this a bit too serious. I mean yes, this could be our great chance but you litereally look like you gonna throw up yourself...you sure you're alright...ehm...?“  
It takes me a few seconds to consider that he just implied that he wants to know my name. I should really try to focus on this a bit more. Not only a bit. Much more.  
„Ehm Harry. And you? I mean, what's your name?“, I add hastily. God, why do I act so cowardly?  
„Louis. Don't you dare to speak the s at the end of it.“, he says, again smiling. I can't help but notice how much I already love his smile. Fuck, he's meant to be my rival! And all I can think about are wonderful blue eyes. They caught me from the very first moment I stared into them. 

„Eh and thank you.“, I add after a few seconds of an akward silence. He raises his right eyebrow and he looks like he's just about to say something when he's interrupted by the judges who come back right now.  
Oh my god. It begins. Stay calm Harry. Just stay calm. 

„Good, ladies and gentlemen. We've come to a decision. You all know that we had to cut you down to the number of only half of you. The ones who'll make it through are directly put in the performances for the judges house which start in two weeks.  
And the other ones...well, you're out.  
Just let us cling that all of you have seriously got talent. But we only can keep the best out of the best for this show, that is business and you know it.  
We will right now begin to read down the names of the ones who've made it through bootcamp and directly to the judge houses.“, the guest judge, Nicole Scherzinger, says. 

I interweave both of my hands together. I can feel the nails scratching my skin but I don't care. I couldn't care less right now. All I can think about is: only the half of us will make it through. Only the fucking half. And I totally fucked it up. Totally. I already got a no at my first audition and today I was even worse if that's possible. And only the half of us can make it.  
Forgotten is every dumb thought about blue eyes, deep like the ocean...man I sound like a drunken poet.  
At the same time I'm sick and nervous as fuck. So many emotions are floading through my body right now it is literally just too much. I feel like I'm just about to vomit in front of all these people.  
I'm so nervous. This is my first chance in this direction which I get. And this could be my last chance...it definitely will be my last chance because I'm totally not trying it again next year. I couldn't take that. That would be too embarrasing. Other people have the courage to try and try again and to proove that they've improven since their last audition but I don't know if my nerves could take this once again.  
I can feel my blood boil. I can feel how I start to feel a bit dizzy and I know I'm close to vomit and fainting at the same time but I won't give that to myself. I won't embarrass myself like this. Nope. Not at all. 

The judges start to read the names of these who've made it through.  
I can hear screams full of happines and relief, I can see how they jump in the air, too much relieved about that they've actually made it, to really care about the fact that everyone else of us is watching them.  
Only a few more about hundred can make it through the bootcamp, I don't have the number right now in my head but I'm pretty sure it's something about hundred and yet there were already many screams full of joy and relief and the crowd begins to reduce.

I really fucked it up. I was just too nervous. I hate my nerves, I really do. Right now I could hate on everyone and everything just to calm myself a bit down. 

„That were so far the ones who made it through.“, I can hear one of the judges say. No, please, please not. Please, this is not happening. Please. I did my best, I tried, I tried so hard, I really gave all I could. Please, my chance, my big dream can't be over right now. But there are others out there who are better than you, Harry. Way better than you. And many others. At least I can say that I've tried. But I'm not sure if I can make it out of this room without vomiting, fainting and crying at the same time.  
I fucked it up. Screw you, nerves. 

„But, there are nine of you we still want to exchange a few words with. We'll read their names right now and if you would please follow us on the stage again.“, she says.  
What is this supposed to mean? What will happen to the nine? Will they get something like a second chance?  
Oh please damn it and let me be one of these nine! Please just give me a second chance!  
Four girls names are read, followed by: „Malik, Zayn. Payne, Liam. Horan, Niall.Tomlinson, Louis.“  
I realize a movement next to me. Tomlinson, Louis is obviously my gorgoeus blue eyes then. Only one name is left. One chance.  
„Styles, Harry.“ 

I can't believe it.  
I can't believe it. 

Like seriously I just thought that this was the end. That this show and my big dream ended here. And now it looks like they're really giving us a second chance. But wait, how can I be sure about this? How can I know that they are really giving us a second chance? Well, mostly only because of pure logic. Why else would they keep us then? To tell us that we were so bad that their ears bled because of us? No, this doesn't sound very professional at all. They are meant to give us a second chance...at least I hope so. Or I can go home, ashamed and embarrassed, knowing that I just fucked up the chance of my live.  
Drunken poet again, Harry. 

We all follow the judges on the stage again. They again take place down at the table and we nine stand in front of them. I can already see how the boys all stand together and the girsl on the other side of the stage.  
I also notice that the judge, Louis Walsh or something like this, who gave me the no on my very first audition, isn't here right now. It's only two of them, Simon and Nicole, right now. 

We boys all stand in a row, we've even put our arms around the other ones. I can see how Louis gives me a shy smile. For this short moment we're not rivals anymore. For this moment we are just five simple boys who all go through the same mental hell. Or at least I think so. But they look just as bad as I feel. Okay, I have to correct myself, at least they don't look like they're just close to vomiting. 

The judge, Nicole, starts to say something but I can't follow every word she says. I just pick up something about we're not worth wasting talend and stuff. But everything goes by in a blur. I just realize the other four lads smiling after Nicole finished what she said. Wait, did I miss something? Fuck my nerves, dammit!  
I'm glad to see that Simon grabs the micro again.

„We decided to put you into two groups.“  
It takes a few moments for me to process what he just said.  
Wait, did he really said it isn't over for us? DID HE JUST SAID WE'RE NOT OUT YET? DID HE JUST SAID THAT THEY DECIDED TO PUT US INTO GROUPS??  
Oh my god, I really can't believe it!!

I'm so relieved right now, I sink down to the ground, burying my face and my curls into my hands to cover up my tears of joy and relief.  
I'm not out yet, I'm still in!!! I still can't believe it.  
My dream isn't over yet! I'm still in! I'm in a group! I'm in a group with Louis. I'm in a group with these gorgeous blue eyes. I barely know him at all and I'm already worshiping this eyes.

A hand rests again on my shoulder. I look up and see into blue eyes.  
Without even knowing what I'm doing and definitely not caring what I'm doing I just jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist. I can feel his laugther ins his chest, how it vibrates against my chest and I can feel his hands carefully holding my back.  
At the moment I don't even care how gay this looks at all. I'm just too happy and relieved. 

„Told you so, Curly.“, Louis says, smirking. This smile!  
Hell, when did I started to act like one of those so called fangirls, but only in the male version of this species? 

„Guys, you have to practice twelve, thirteen, maybe fourteen hours the day. Yes, this is a second chance. And thats the reason why you all should take this very seriously.“, the man, Simon says.  
We all nod in unison.  
It's going to be two hard weeks. But I'm not out. I'm through and I'm now officially in a group with four other lads who look quite nice. I'm in a group with Louis.  
What more can I want? 

 

+

 

The blonde irish one, Niall, is the first who enters the house that will be our home for the next two weeks. We immediately run after him because who's first gets the best place to sleep.  
I don't even notice the hallway and the other rooms I'm passing, I'm searching straight for a bedroom. The driver told us something about two bedrooms, one with three beds and the other one with two. Hopefully I'll get the one with two. 

„That's mine!“, I can hear Niall yell and I run faster.  
„Mine!“  
„Mine!“, it comes directly from Zayn and Liam. Wait, did they already take the room with three beds? Well, that means the one with two beds is left for me and Louis, isn't it?  
„Curly, looks like we're the two lucky ones to share the more private room, doesn't it?“, Louis grins at me. And before I can realize it because I'm again just to focused on his smile, he sprints towards the other room and takes the bed at the side of the window.  
I sigh. I hate it to sleep just in front of the door. But I guess I can get along with that. Because, I'm sharing a room with Louis!  
That's just the left adrenaline, I try to tell myself. It's just too much left from the last hours. The excitement, the nervousness and all these other feels, I'm just too overwhelmed and relieved. Yeah, that must be the reason why Louis suddenly is everywhere in my head present. And I really talk about everywhere. While driving I even caught myself comparing the sky to his eyes.  
Like hell, I've got a girlfriend! And I'm definitely not gay! Or at least I think so. I don't think I'm gay. And I have a girlfriend.  
But I didn't talk much to Felicity in the last time. In fact I didn't talk to her in a week. And not much text messages either. But this didn't really start with the X Factor, she was also like that in the last two or three months before X Factor. Especially on my birthday she behaved very strange.  
I'm just glad that my best girlfriend, Fiona, isn't here. She would just tell me some stuff like: „Uuuh, I told you, Harold.“  
The fact is, she did. From the beginning of my relationship with Felicity she wasn't very optimistic about it. Because me best mate, Evan, also fancied Felicity. And no, not because Fiona was jealous. She has a boyfriend herself. 

„Curly, s'everything all right?“, I suddenly hear Louis' voice behind me and it feels a bit like waking up because I was just too deep into my thoughts.  
„Huh, sorry?“, I shrug and sit down on my new bed.  
„You looked kind of...very distracted...you know...something you want to talk about?“, he offers, suddenly sounding a bit shy.  
„No, Lou...is thanks, mate. I just don't like it to sleep in front of the door, that's everything, s'allright.“, I answer him. Wait...was I really just about to call him Lou? How gay is that even? I barely know him! I have to stop acting like a drunken Romeo! Besides from the fact that I assume Romeo was pretty much drunken himself when he first met Juliet.  
„Well, if this is such a big deal for you then we can change beds, you know.“, he grins.  
„No, it's alright.“  
„But you won't get nightmares or something like that, will you?“ Fuck.  
„No, not at all.“, I try to lie and fake a grin.  
„God Curly, you're really a bad liar.“, he says, smirking.  
„Come on, let's change beds, it's not a big deal.“  
„Thanks.“, I say, smiling shyly.  
„Anytimes, Curly!“, his answer comes directly. 

And so we do, change beds. Then we pack out our clothes and begin to fill the boards and closets and the bathroom with it. Our beds are already prepared. Good service, I'd say.  
I'm the first to finish so I grab my phone, telling Louis I want to call my family. And so I do. I walk outside and rest on a bank. It's still really warm outside so I don't need a jacket.I share a long conversation with Mum and Gemma and Robin also gives comments from the background. We don't talk much about the fact that I've been put into a group because my family was there. Well, they weren't there when they put us five together but they also were in bootcamp to see my bad performance and they've been there afterwards when we five were thrown together in a group and they already got to know the other lads and their parents.  
I'm glad it seemed like they all got along well with each other.  
Then we finish the conversation, mum wishing me for the last time luck and a good time with the other lads. Hopefully I'm going to have that. 

Then I check my other messages. Nothing new from Felicity. The same with Evan. But Fiona send me much texts. 

Fiona: Excited already? Wishing you luck, Harold <3  
Fiona: You're going to make it, you know it! Head up and smile. Love you xx  
Fiona: And?  
Fiona: Harold?  
Fiona: Harry??  
Fiona: How did it went???  
Fiona: Oh come on, it can't have been that bad, can it?  
Fiona: You know Harold, you can tell me everything.  
Fiona: Harry, please text me!  
Fiona: Harry, check your fucking messages!  
Fiona: Harry!!  
Fiona: Harold, I'm starting to worrie about you.  
Fiona: Harry, answer my fucking messages!  
Fiona: Harold, it can't have been that bad!! Fucking tell me!  
Fiona: Harry!  
Fiona: I'll kill you if you don't text or call me in the next three hours.  
Fiona: Two hours left, Harold.

I can't help but smirk. That's why I love her. Well, obviously not in that way, but she is the best girlfriend you could ever imagine. She's always there for me, even if she has her own boyfriend.  
Rather different than Felicity. But maybe she just had a bad day.  
I quickly diall Fionas number. I guess I'd better call her now. 

„Fiona, it's me. Ha...“, she quickly interrupts me:  
„Harry? Oh my god Harry, you're alive! Gosh Harry, you know how much you scared me? Are you even aware of that fact?? Harry, I was worried as fuck about you!! Why the actual fuck didn't you call me?“, she says, without pausing to breath for one single time. I have to hide the laugh in my voice as I continue talking:  
„Hey, Fee, calm down, s' alright. I'm still alive. And there are a loads of facts why I didn't call you.“  
„I've got time Harold, you can start right now.“, she says dryly. I sigh slightly.  
„Okay, but please, calm down.  
Okay, day started with my solo performance and no, I really fucked it off. I really did. Gosh, I was so bad. That's the main reason I wasn't on my phone. Because I was nervous as fuck and thought I've lost-“  
Wait Harry, you're still in??“, she interrupts me directly after these words. I chuckle lightly.  
„Just listen Fee. As I said I fucked off my solo performance and then we had to wait 'till the judges made their decision about who was directly in for the performances at judges house and who was out. Well, they started reading the names and mine obviously wasn't included because I did a really bad job this morning.“, she is about interrupting me again so I just continue talking.  
„Then they had their perfomances for judges house but the judges came back, saying that they know would read down nine names and these nine they'd want to follow them on the stage again.“

I tell her the whole story, how our group was formed and how we drove here and blablabla. I just leave Louis out. I'm not ready for that kind of stuff yet. Because I don't think I'm gay and even if I was, I have a girlfriend.  
And, for fuck's sake, I barely know him! I have only fallen for these gorgeous blue eyes and this smile yet, I try to tell myself. Only for this. Not for Louis himself.  
I'm such a bad liar, even to myself. I've also already fallen for his nickname for me. And the way how he always says it with that smirk on his face: Curly.  
Shut it up Harry, you're straight, you have a girlfriend and you barealy know him!

We continue talking, Fiona wants to know everything about the lads I can tell her so far, so I can't avoid telling her that I share a room with Louis. 

We're suddenly distracted by Louis, who walks out of our house and yells:  
„Hey Curly, we want to cook! You coming?“, I gesture to him that I just want to end this phone call and he nods, but he still stands there, resting against the wall of the house. I try not to look at the muscles you can see under the streaped shirt. Or at his lovely hair that looks out of his beanie, which he still wears.  
„Harry, who was that?“  
„I'm sorry Fiona, this was Louis, the one I share a room with. I think I have to stop now because the lads want to cook meal.“  
„Okay Harry, but please at least text tomorrow so I don't think you're dead, yeah?“  
„Sure I will! I'm sorry I have to end. Love you!“  
„Love you too! Bye then Harold!“  
I end the call smiling and walk towards Louis.

„Was that...um...your girlfriend?“, Louis asks and he doesn't look me in the eyes while asking this question. I can't help but grin.  
„No, Fiona is my best girlfriend. You know...kind of a best mate or dude, but the girly version.“  
„Aaah...so...you....eh...don't have a girlfriend then?“, he demands, trying to sound rather interested but still failing this one. Is that something like a mix of jealously and happiness I can hear in his voice? But I have to tell him about Felicity. Why am I suddenly so upset about this? About the fact, that I've got a girlfriend.  
„Well erm no, I actually have a girlfriend, Felicity. We're together since new years party with a few friends.“, I tell him and this time I'm the one avoiding eye-contact.  
„Ah.“, he shrugs and we fall into an akward silence.

„Hey lads, are you finally coming or what? I'm hungry as fuck and I desperatly want to eat something before midnight!“, Niall yells from inside and I'm quite happy about this. At least so the akward silence between us ended.  
I was never before that upset about the fact that I have a girlfriend. Fuck, what's wrong with me?  
Way more happy then before we both enter the house again.

They already gathered around in the kitchen, opened books in front of them. Ugh, they really want to cook right now? Because I'm in the same situation as Niall. I haven't eaten more than my apple that morning and I can feel it really bad now. It's not that I don't like cooking, in fact I quiete enjoy it but right now I'm so hungry that I'd rather order a pizza. Way more quickly and less self-work.  
„Uh, do we really have to cook right now?“, I turn my head surprised to Louis, glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.  
„Yeah, can't we order an ordinary pizza and then watch TV together and get to know each other better?“, I ask them.  
Finally they give in.  
„You're right.“, Liam says, „I'm really hungry and Pizza is way more faster and easier.“  
Louis and I both sigh relieved. 

 

+

 

The pizza was delivered really quickly and now we all sit on the big sofa, eating and watching TV. I'm sitting between Louis and Zayn, Louis and I are so near that our knees touch. I can feel the butterflyes in my stomach, I really can.  
Screw it Harry, you're not gay. You've got a fucking girlfriend. You just ate too much pizza. Yeah, hopefully things are just like that. 

„Okay lads, what about a game, close to truth or dare, so we can get to know each other better? Like one asks a question and everyone of us has to answer the question?“, it's Liam who makes this suggestion after we've all eaten our pizza and now we're just sitting around, nobody's saying much and we're all just watching TV.  
We all agree to Liams' suggestion and he is the first to ask us a question. 

„Okay...so...what are your hobbies, besides from singing?“, he asks. We all answer and a few minutes later I know things I didn't expected, like Louis likes playing football and that he plays the piano or that Niall can play the guitar or that Zayn kind of has a thing for reading and Liam for acting and comedy, same as Louis. Louis even played the Danny in his school musical, Grease. But he's not willing to show us any pictures. Pitty.  
Niall is the next one to come up with a question.

„Well, maybe not so important as Liams question here, but who's single and who has got a girlfriend?“, he asks, smirking. Niall and Liam are both single at the time but they had a girlfriend before and Zayn says that he kind of has a thing going on with a girl but that's nothing fixed yet. I tell tem about Felicity and I catch myself, curiously watching Louis' reaction, although he already knows about this. He doesn't look that pleased at all. I kind of become a bit nervous when it's Louis to answer the question.  
„Well, there's that girl, Hannah Walker, she played Sandy in grease and we...uh...it's complicated. We kissed and stuff and she was also partly the one who convinced me to audition for the X Factor and we go around in school and stuff but we weren't on a date yet and we also didn't talk about our relationship...or whatever this should be called. So...I don't know...I like her really much and it's not that she's a bad kisser or so but...I'm not sure if I like her that much in that direction....you know in the loving direction? Uh and I'm pretty sure I now bored you as fuck, I'm sorry.“, he sighs and buries his hands in his hair.  
„No, it's all right bro. I understand you. I think we all felt this way before, at least once. And you can defininetely come to me and talk to me...if you have problems and so...“, Zayn offers, resting a hand on Louis' shoulders.  
Ugh, why isn't that my hand there? Why wasn't I the first one to react to his story? I'm sometimes really so dumb and cowardly and stupid and....I could continue the list for ages. Right now I'm just to angry with myself that I didn't react first to Louis' explanation. Guess I was just to overwhelmed with his words. Because, I can't deny it, first thing I felt, when he mentioned this Hannah girl was nothing less than jealousy.  
Damn it, you have a girlfriend yourself, Harry. And, you're hundred percent straight. But...am I? Like really? Am I really straight? Definitely and for sure?

„Harry, what's going on? Something's up on your mind?“, it's Niall who interrupts my thoughts.  
„What? No, I'm fine dude.“, I say, faking a smile. He doesn't look very convinced at all but glad he doesn't say anything more. 

We continue the question game and it get's funnier with the time passing by. First questions are all held really random, like: who was your first crush? (Fiona's going to kill me for my answer), or when and why did you started singing?  
The others are all really nice. But I think, nice is quiete to underrated to really discribe them. I mean, of course they are nice and we all get along with each other really well. But there are yet so many other words you could discribe them with.  
Niall for example is very funny and sometimes pretty sassy but he's also the person the cheer up the mood anytime with a bad joke. Or maybe even a good one. But the jokes I've heard so far from him are so stupid that they are again pretty funny. So stupid that you have to laugh about them nevertheless. Oh and he's fucking good at impressing accents. And not only accents, he can impress other people as well. We all have to recover from laughing after he impressed the judges today. I'm so glad that I can laugh about this right now. It's so hard to believe that this all only happened a few hours ago, it already feels like ages.  
Then there we have Liam, who looks like he's going to be the „daddy“ of us all, although he isn't the oldest one, that's Louis. But Liam already looks like he's the one who' going to look after us when we've got problems and stuff and he's already so far the one who watches out that the jokes aren't getting too personal and that we don't offend the others in any way. He's also somehow that kind of person, I think, who wants to get everything done as perfect as possible. Espicially singing and other things he's good at it. All in one he seems very self-critical. But he's also a funny person, nevertheless. He seems to have got a very dry humor but it's very entertaining in it's own way.  
And Zayn...I can't say much about him so far because he looks kinda really shy. Not that kind of shy person who doesn't have trust in himself and who's an outcast at school, no, more kinda mysterical shy if you can get my point. Although he also answers the questions he's still the one I know the most less things about him. He doesn't look like he likes it to get to know new people. But I really see that he tries it with us and I kind of really appreciate this. And, nevertheless he looks a very kind and caring person, once he gives you the chance to get to know him. The way he talks about his family and his friends is in it's own way really touching.  
And then we have Louis...my gorgeous blue eyes....screw you, Shakespeare. But his smile is wonderful. And his eyes. And the way he calls me „Curly“, I've already fallen for those things. But still, only for those things. Or at least I try to tell myself so. And it's not only about his good looking. No, he also seems the be the most caring and loving person of us all. He sounds so extremely loyal and dedicated to them, when he talks about them , I'm getting jealous only because of this fact. And although they all look like persons I can come to and talk with when I've get problems, I would always choose Louis over them, from the very start on. Because he looks, just like Niall, like the person who'd always be there to cheer you up and to motivate you. And he also seems insecure nevertheless. Because we also speak about our first auditions and Louis tells us how terrible he felt and how he thought that he was so bad and that he really totally fucked it up, although he got the „yes“ three times. And I also like his music taste. Zayn was the one who asked us which are our favourite bands and solo artists and if we probably have something like a favourite song ever and Louis came up with The Fray and „Look after you“ and although I only know that song and „I found you“ by The Fray, I really like their music. Or the two songs I know by them so far. And, so far there are also so many things I yet like about Louis...to much things, if you'd asked me. I mean, for the fact that I've got a girlfriend and I'm totally straight. 

We continue talking and we really don't look at the time. We all know that we're supposed to get up very early tomorrow and to practise, practise, practise, but we all excuse this with the fact that this is our first day in this group, in this situation, in this formation. Tomorrow, we can start practising. We've got two weeks to our first performance as a group.  
But after hours, really hours, when I look at the watch it really says three am, we're all tired as fuck and desperate for some sleep. We even all have to groan in unsion. 

„Okay lads, I think that's it.“, Liam says, covering up another groan with his hand, „I think we should all get some sleep now. It's really late and tomorrow, oh wait, more today, serious things'll begin. Breakfast at nine? Yes, breakfast at nine, then we have to think about a name for our group and then we have to start practising, all right?“  
We all nod tired and he looks really pleased. 

Tired we all get up and stumble towards our rooms. I'm too tired right now to brush my teeth or to take care of my hair, all I can manage is to tiredly change into my night clothes, because I'm the only one who hasn't changed them yet because when they all did I was chatting with Fiona and Mum and Gemma.  
Louis walks in just when I'm about to put my night shirt on, so I'm shirtless. It's a bit dark but I can still nevertheless see how his gaze rests on my bare chest. I can feel my cheeks redden and blush and quickly I manage to get into my shirt. 

„S...sorry, Harry.“, Louis mumbles, kinda sounding overwhelmed.  
„S' alright.“, I quickly answer him, cheeks still burning and surely red as a tomato. We both fall again into an akward silence, just standing there and avoiding each others gaze.  
Then he finally starts walking towards me and, I can't deny it, I can feel my heart racing faster and louder, I wouldn't be surprised at all if he could hear it. If this is possible, my cheeks are becoming even more redder. Screw you, nerves. 

„Night Curly.“, he says, smirking and the next I can feel is his lips, placing a short and brief kiss on my cheek. I'm too overwhelmed, I really am.  
„N....night...Louis...“, I mumble, when he's already walking to his own bed. He lies down and I can't see the expressions on his face anymore. 

Nervously shaking, I grab my blanket and lie down, resting my head on the pillow.  
To hold this, so it can be written down in the history books: Louis Tomlison just kissed me!!! On the cheek. But, nevertheless, he kissed me!! And I'm hundred procent straight.  
No homo tho. 

With a cowardly smile, unreplacable on my skin, I finally fall asleep.

 

+

 

„Curly, come on, get up, it's nearly breakfast time!“, I can hear a very familiar voice yell into my ear.  
„No, it's still night. Lemme sleep!“, I moan.  
„Sorry to insult you, Harrieh, but it's 8.45 am.“, the voice, sounding like Louis, still keeps me away from sleeping. But I straighten up very fast.  
„How'd you just call me??“, I hiss and glance him a very unpleased look. He just smirks and that makes me even more...angry? Or something like that.  
„Stop it, Lewis!“, I enjoy emphasizing the 's' and his reaction to this, his face litereally looks like his girlfriend just broke up with him, or something, „first of all, I could've slept fifteen more minutes! Fifteen precious minutes! And second, never mess around with my name again...or....or....“  
„Or what?“, he asks, now grinning again.  
„Or...“, I don't know, what to say, so I just throw a pillow at him. Wow, I've got better skills than I've expected 'cause it directly lands in his face. Hah!  
„You're so going to pay for that, revenge!“, he roars, grabbing the pillow and throwing it and himself on me. That's right. The pillow and Louis both land on my stomach.  
„Uff...Lou, no air, can't breath!“, I croak and he lowers himself up a little bit, but still only a little bit. Just enough to leave air for me to breath. And now my brain's got enough to work through: Louis Tomlinson just has thrown himself, in an act of revenge, on me, Harry Styles. His body is still pressed against mine and I can feel his bare skin touching mine. Wow. These blue eyes, just as shiny and beautiful as the ocean stare directly into my eyes and I can feel myself shaking and my heart beat racing very fast when he also starts to smile. This smile, though! No homo, Harry. Just drunk. Wait, how am I supposed to be drunk? We didn't drink yesterday, did we? Maybe I'm really just to overwhelmed by his presence. Yeah, that must be it. Definitely straight, Harry. 

„Harry, d'you hear me?“, I finally can hear Louis voice again. Everything was in a kind of blur when I lost myself in his eyes and in his smile.  
„Huh?“, I shrug.  
„I said I stop messing around with your name if you stop messing around with mine.“  
„No way, I'd stop that. It's just too funny. And your reactions are the best!“, I can't help but grin. He looks really pissed but then smirks nevertheless.  
„Then prepare yourself for some really dumb and gay nicknames!“, he says, trying to sound thrilling but failing really hard at this so I only have to giggle again.  
„You should too.“  
„Fine.“, he mumbles, pouting. He just looks too sweet and too adorable when he does things like this. I don't even care that I've just titled a boy with sweet and adorable. I've got a girlfriend, everything's hundred percent straight. Everything's as it's supposed to be, isn't it? 

We both stay in that positon, Louis on my belly, his legs pressed against mine and his hands rested near to my arms so he doens't break down on my stomach again. We just stay silent and -  
„Morning lads, you coming for....uh....breakfast?“, it's Liam who enters our room and stops abprubtly when he sees our position. As fast as we can, we both straighten up, Louis avoiding my gazes. Is it possible to turn even redder than a tomato? What's redder than a tomato? Fionas hair. Is it really possible that my cheeks can turn into the colour of Fionas hair? Because they feel like burning. I don't even dare to look at Liam.  
Finally Louis is the one who saves me in this situation.  
„We're coming, Payno, just give us a few moments. Harry still needs to take a shower, right Harry?“  
I nod, not looking at both of them.  
„Fine, great then lads, see you.“, and with that embarrassed tone in his voice he leaves our room again. 

Louis stands up from my bed and I grab my clothes.  
„So you really have got a thing for silly nicknames, haven't you?“  
„Come on Harold, they're not that bad!“  
„Never call me that again, or I...I don't know, something bad will happen!“, I shout as I'm leaving our room, my clothes hanging on my arm. Just before I'm about to enter the bathroom I can hear him yell:  
„No chonce and you know it, Harreyeh!“

Sighing but still grinning I close the door of the bathroom behind me. I quickly get off of my clothes and enter the shower. I shriek as I realize how cold the water is. Ugh, hopefully they didn't hear me crying like a girl. Now I'm totally awake, thanks to the forbiddenly cold water.  
Such a lie, Harry. Like you were'nt awaken before by some special blue eyes, some special wakening event and a special body...  
Shut up, brain!  
I'm definitely not that straight no matter how much I'm trying to convince myself I am. I really need to talk to Fiona, she's the best in such things. Could it possibly be possible that you can be gay for one person? That you could change your sexual orientation for one person?  
Or maybe I'm just even Louissexual?  
That is all so stupid and pathetic, argh. It's all his, Louis' fault. It's his fault that I start to act like a fangirl (I guess that would be the male version of a fangirl) and that my legs start trembling whenever we're touching. That I'm starting to think like Romeo or like a drunken Shakespeare. That I'm starting to think of him like this all was a Bruno Mars song, it's all his fault. He's just too overwhelming.  
Can it really happen so fast, falling for a person? Can it happen that unforeseen and yet so hard it feels like dead wrong? Is that possible?  
Louis, Louis, Louis is just everything that's on my mind right now. And I don't even know him for twenty-four hours yet, what the actual fuck?! I desperatly need to talk to someone. Fiona would be best I guess, but she's bussy on her own because class test and exams time in school just started. Mum, Dad or Gemma, no, they all would be way too embarrassing. So only the other three lads are left. Niall, Zayn and Liam. I don't know why but I think Zayn would be best for this. It's not that I don't trust the others but I think Niall could reveal a secret unwillingly just when he's in a funny mood and I dont know, talking to Liam about things like that would feel like talking to my parents or even worse, teachers.  
But first of all I have to think about that myself. Fuck it, I just need some advice. Right now, I'm completely defenceless. And helpless. And before something really embarrassing happens I'd rather talk to someone. 

„Harold, finally finished huh?“, is the first comment I earn as I enter the kitchen. Without even needing to hear the voice to this sentence, I know it is Louis, just because of this stupid nickname.  
„Argh, stop it!“, I growl and glance him an unpleased look. He just smirks. I'm glad it looks like the whole I-lay-on-your-body-and-Daddy-Liam-caught-us-situation seems to be forgotten. At least I hope so.  
„Harry, please watch out, your curls are still wet and they're watering the floor.“, Liam says, sharing a look with me. I nod, grabbing the towel I saved for my curls and pushing it around them. 

„Oh my god Harry, this looks just too hilarious, I'm sorry!“, Niall says and before I can realize what's going on I can hear a clicking sound. No, he wouldn't dare too, would he?  
„Please tell me that this isn't really happening!“, I groan.  
„Sorry Haz, too late, it already happened.“, Niall says, smirking. I can hear the others laugh as I sit down at the table.  
„Gaaf, just promise me you won't upload it on Facebook or something like that.“  
„Too bad that just this was exactly my plan!“  
„No!!!“, I his, sprinting towards him, reaching for his phone.  
„Hey Haz, calm down, I'm not doing this, promise!“, he adds hastily as he sees the angry look I shoot towards him. 

We all make our breakfast even though it's just putting all the things at the table because Liam and Zayn which were the first awake already prepared the the or coffee and the bread and the other stuff, like Nutella and cheese and meat.  
We start eating and it somehow feels good. I mean, it doens't feel like one of those surroundings for lunch at school where everybody just wants to impress the others with his grades, his new friends or his new clothes and other annyoing thing. That's the main reason why Fiona, Evan and I always avoided these surroundings because they were basically just one thing: stupid.  
No, here we all don't feel the need to impress each other and stuff, here we all can just simply eat. And after a few minutes it feels like the ice is just really broken now, Niall and Louis start to make bad jokes again, talking with each other, Zayn and I start a conversation about the need of Nutella for breakfast because we both've seen Liams gaze as I made my second toast with Nutella. For me I just need something sweet, something chocolate like in the morning to really start the day. 

When we're all finished, Liam comes up with the next thing:  
„Good then. Lads, we still need a name.“  
„The bestest!!“, Niall shouts and Louis chuckles, grinning stupidly. Immediatly my blood starts to boil, I wish I could be the one who makes him laugh like that.  
„No, c'mon lads, this is serious bussiness this time! We need something that sounds good when you speak it, you know, kind of impressing and remarkable. A name you'll remember.“  
We fall silent again. Then something comes up to my mind.  
„I don't know, but how about One Direction?“, I ask the group. 

 

+

 

„Harry, can I come in, is everything allright?“, it's Zayn who asks this.  
Ugh, please not.  
„No, Zayn, everything's fine, it's just has been a long day!“, I shout through the door. This is part a lie but also partly the truth. It's really been a long day. But, I guess, nothing's allright.

After breakfast we started working and practising with one of the coaches and I heard the others for the first time singing. Because somehow that was one of the few things we've forgotten yesterday evening and this night in the am. They are all really good and I can't help myself but marking Louis' voice as my favourite. His voice sounds so angelic, so sweet and innocent and he can meet some really good high notes. But he's way too insecure and unsure about his voice, when it comes to singing he has way too less self-confidence. The others and the coach also noticed that and we marked this as one of the many things we have to work on. Not only Louis, Niall and I are also quiete really insecure but Louis really is the worst. We figured out the things we'll have too concentrate on the most in the following days and then, during our lunch break, Simon Cowell showed up. He wanted to know how it worked and to make sure that we all got along well with each other. Then he asked if we already had some ideas for a name and Louis told him my idea. Simon agreed with us that this name sounded really good and then it was fixed. We're One Direction now. Sounds good, doesn't it? The rest of the day went by with much work and practising, impressing and training different songs and stuff and when it was close too ten pm the coach finally shared our opinion that it was enough for today. We went back to our house, again only ordering some food, today salads and bread so we wouldn't eat pizza the second time in twenty-four hours and when Louis went taking a shower I finally grabbed my phone for the first time today. Bad decision, I've better done not so because Fiona came up with some very bad new. 

„Haz, I don't care, I'm entering now, neverthe....oh....Harry?“, he asks, suddenly way more quietly and also shocked. Screw you nerves and you silly tears. Boys aren't supposed to cry, especially not me. Argh. I'm just glad that it isn't Louis who's the one finding me like this. 

Zayn rests next to me, carefully laying a hand on my shoulder.  
„Harry, c'mon, you know I won't tell the others if you don't want to.“  
That's not the thing I desperatly want to talk about this because I can't just lie awake the whole night, regretting and pittying myself, that won't help me at all. No, the thing is that I'm not really sure if I can get out words or if my voice will break because I cried too much. I just have to trie. 

„M....my....girlfriend....I guess she broke up with me....she...cheated on me....with my....my....b....est mate....“


End file.
